Mistakes are human. Mistakes are necessary. We have been conditioned to fear mistakes, but if we embrace them we open up a faster track to progression.
Our mistakes can be categorized into four different types. The faster we learn what type of mistake we are making, the earlier it is we can rectify our mistakes and become better!
References for this podcast include the following:
Mindset Article + Graphic:
Neil Gaiman Thoughts:
https://www.dumbofeather.com/articles/the-value-of-making-mistakes/
INTRO: You’re listening to the Art of Play Podcast. This podcast is about play. Not just childhood play, all play. This podcast is exploring play as a means of not just being better adults, but better, well-rounded humans.
Happy Friday everybody!! I just realized that this is episode 24 and it is serendipitously landing on July 24th, which is a state holiday in Utah. So, I think it’s worth celebrating just a little bit— anyone else think numbers lining up seems to click the universe into place? No? Just me? Okay. It’s only kind of sort of a big deal on a regular year, and this year it seems a little bit strange to be celebrating differently, but that is just how it is for now. I also want to give my cousin Abrielle a shout out because it is her birthday today, and it still makes me happy that the big parade in town she thought was for her birthday for so many years. I just love that little zing of delight thinking that a child would be so optimistic to think a city-wide celebration is in order for their birthday. It makes me so happy.
Okay, this episode I have dedicated to a rundown of mistakes. Not my personal laundry list, although that could be very enlightening I am sure, but, how mistakes are really a part of why and how we came to be who we are. Everyone makes mistakes. In fact I think it is helpful to give you some synonyms because the ideas associated around mistakes in adulthood often bring about panic attacks and anxiety. Some other words for mistake are: mix-up, slip, blunder, misunderstanding, oversight, misinterpretation, inaccuracy, and misread. They are a part of being human, so much so, we would not have survived without them. Ever heard of survival of the fittest? If you think it has to do with a fitness competition, let me just clarify what I mean. Survival of the fittest, meant the most well adapted species was the one to survive. They best fit their environment. It’s a clarifying term to illustrate weeding out those organisms that make mistakes that are not in the best interest for survival. We evolved through mistakes, and we are here because our ancestors learned from theirs and others mistakes.
I have an eraser that I keep on my desk, and it says “to err is human”. It’s cheeky and it’s from a Kate Spade pencil case that Jared gave me at Christmas one year. But, it rings true. All. the. time. We are a bundle of mistakes. Those mistakes refined us into who we are today. Now, when we connect play and mistakes, the same thing happens. It’s a refinement outline. We learned to jump the rope instead of trip over it. We learned to pedal the bike to keep our balance.
Today, we are here to talk about mistakes. I want to give you the different types of mistakes, just as an exercise in thinking your way into positively embracing your mistakes— of all types. Then I am going to give you some research in how useful your mistakes are, regardless of if they make you cringe inside, and then finally, I have a baby pep talk to finish this out, how mistakes aren’t all bad and all that.
Mistakes. There is a lot of information about mistakes. There is a lot of research, and cry-baby blog posts, and I am sure catalogs of people’s worst misdeeds. Everyone has mistakes that make them cringe, or refocus on regrets. Everyone also has mistakes that they are so glad they learned before it was too late, or too expensive, or too hard to turn around. Mistakes have been categorized into four types: Stretch, Aha Moment, Sloppy, and High Stake. Stretch mistakes are mistakes we make when we are reaching for something new, but it’s unfamiliar enough to have us fumble a bit. Aha moment mistakes happen when we do something right but in the wrong way, like we call a friend to wish them a happy birthday on the right day but the wrong month. Sloppy mistakes are things we already know how to do, but we just aren’t focused, or are distracted. High stakes mistakes happen when we are acutely aware that there are dire consequences for making the mistake.
All these types of mistakes are learning opportunities. The most effective way we can use our mistakes for our positive progression is to not wallow in them, but use them as a reference point of how far we have come, what we want to work for, or how we can alter our course to be more effective. Sloppy mistakes can be made into aha moment mistakes if we take the time to realize what factors contributed to the mistake. Let’s say for example I do call my friend on the right day, but the wrong month. Instead of just apologizing and then getting mad at myself, I simply can apologize, change the date in my calendar, and then take the reflection time to say it matters to me to show people I care about them on a day that matters to them.
Now, let’s talk about how valuable our mistakes are. Our progress is marked by mistake after mistake, and then eventually we stopped making as many mistakes and we grew, evolved and moved on. It became easier to execute a skill and we stopped thinking it was hard, or being frustrated little errors.
Neil Gaiman gave a graduation speech and is quoted as saying: “If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.”
We may have learned or been conditioned to fear making blunders, and slip-ups but without making any mistakes, are we doing something? We fear a lot in this world, and if we let it, fear will make us stationary, stagnant, and isolated. The best way to the other side is through the fear. So, fearing mistakes is normal, fine, but not an excuse to not do the thing. Maybe we make it out on the other side unscathed, but chances are we make some messes along the way. You know how I know if my kids have had a good day? There are messes to clean up. Do you know how I know I am living my best life? I have a food stain on my clothes. Mistakes are part of the wonder, part of the human, part of the best part of us. We get to make them right. We get to learn new and interesting things. We get to push through to better. Mistakes are research, not failure. Wow, I think I just came up with something brilliant. Mistakes are research, not failure. Patting myself on the back for that one. I will google it and see if someone came up with it first. Just kidding. I just am going to pat myself on the back and move on.
Finally, here is my pep talk:
Mistakes are refinement. You are a well-oiled machine, because you are probably listening to this while doing something else. Your human existence means that you made mistakes that are unique to you, but more likely than not, the majority of your mistakes are ones the majority of us have also made. We are not infallible, but all intuitively fumbling together, and if you just stop and look back over your shoulder at where you are now, you will see the progression you have made. You have made progress because you have made mistakes. There is no shame in making mistakes, learning and doing better. Moving on and up. You are refined through your mistakes and you are getting to edit and rewrite those mistakes however suits you most productively. Your mistakes are not misbehavior if you didn’t know better before. Your mistakes are opportunities to try again, even if this is not the first time you have made that mistake. You are already hardwired to learn from and move past your mistakes, working toward what is ahead. You were cut out to live this life, and you are making it a good one by being someone who takes inventory and moves for better outcomes. You got this.
Thank you for listening today to this episode about mistakes. As I said before, to err is human, and we all make mistakes. We learn to rise from them and move forward. Of the four types of mistakes, we can learn from them all. Mistakes become constructive, positive criticism when we can take accountability and make ourselves better by trying again. And you already know how to come through the fear and try, because you have been hardwired for it.
This podcast is fueled by my family’s mission at the Oliver Fund. We send playthings to children in hardship all over the world. Because we believe to have the ability to work hard there is value in playing well. It’s a part of our personal family creed. You can find out more online at theoliverfund.org or on social media @theOliverFund and @ArtofPlayPodcast
If you loved this episode, please will you do me a favor and go to Apple Podcasts and write a review, or share with a friend you think would love it. The more the word gets out the more we are able to share our playful message with others!
OUTRO: Here’s to leaving you to your weekend a little more hopeful and hopefully more happily playful, if only for five minutes.